"I want to know what it's like to give life to a dream"

My blog title is from this song by Kellie Coffey. One of my surro sisters shared this heart wrenching song with me this week. I posted it on my Facebook along with my feelings after I first heard it below...

It gave me the chills....I LOVE what I can do...what I CAN change....the family I am helping CREATE ♥ I feel so lucky and honored to be a part of something so special and amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

I had a really nice weekend filled with some wonderful people. On Saturday, my husband and I dropped the kids off at daycare to attend a luncheon that was put on by the agency I am with. We were joined with the IP's S&E and I got to see a handful of my surro friends that are also with the same agency. I also saw Dr. K who if you remember was my Dr. at the clinic and who performed our successful IVF transfer back in December.  S, E & I took some great pictures together and one of my favorites is the picture above. It just shows how much love this baby girl has and I can't wait to put her into her parent's arms. To top off this fabulous lunch I won a $100 Amex card...woot woot!

On Sunday, I got together with a large group of local surrogates whom I chat with daily in a private Facebook group. I can't imagine not having these women in my life. Ya know it isn't like you have a 'how to' book to read on surrogacy because each journey is different so they have been an invaluable source of information and support as I have gone through my journey. I am almost at a loss for words about how these women have all impacted my life, I feel so lucky to be in the same group as them.

I am in the turquoise blue dress, jean jacket with striped shoes in the front. With me being 5'3 I am often the one getting shuffled in the front for group pictures. I am now 22 weeks pregnant.

Celebrating the 1/2 way mark!

I had an appointment with my mid-wife on Thursday; baby girl measured right on track and her heartbeat sounded great. She is really gaining her strength because her moves can now more easily be felt on the outside. 

My husband and I joined the IP's for a double-date night last Friday night and it was the first time they got to witness me telling someone that the baby I am carrying is not my own. I told our waiter and he replied with, "Wow just like that girl from Friends." Yup, I am a 'real life' Phoebe but with one baby growing inside me. He was a little in shock but was so excited for all of us and gave many congratulations to the expectant parents. We had such a fun night together. 

In celebration of our 1/2 way, 20 week mark today...

Last week, at 19 weeks I wore this tank that was given to me by a surrogate friend. I think it's so fun to embrace and wear surrogacy proud. 

Special little shoes for a very special little...

Yesterday was a really exciting day for the IP's S & E, they found out the gender of their baby during an ultrasound. They are having a GIRL!!! I just knew it. I have said it was a girl from the very beginning when 'she' snuggled in a few days after transfer back in December.  I never wavered from my feelings that this baby was a girl. 

I actually correctly guessed the gender on each of my own 3 kids so the fact that I was right about this one feels pretty darn awesome. That means 4/4 times I was right! 

I had purchased a special pair of one-of-a-kind PINK handmade shoes from my very favorite designer Joyfolie to bring with me to the ultrasound. I didn't even buy a boy pair so it was a good thing I was right. I was thrilled to give these special little booties to the IP's to celebrate all things pink, flowers and frilly.

Kicking and Stretching

I had a quick check-up and blood draw at my appointment this past Wednesday. Baby measured right on track and the heartbeat sounded great. My husband was out of town this past week so the IP's came over with dinner Wednesday night and helped me entertain the kids, they are so thoughtful. It is always great to see them and my kids feel the same. 

My belly is getting pretty big now,  I can't fit into many non-maternity things. My youngest is always rubbing on my belly and telling me how big it is. I am using Trader Joe's Coconut Body Butter on my belly to help soothe the dryness and help with the stretching. It smells so good and isn't greasy, definitely a must have lotion. Now that the baby is bigger I can feel it move and kick all day and night, I can actually feel it kicking around now. 

The wait to find out the gender is torture, S & E have that ultrasound appointment the middle of next month. I can't wait to shop for this special baby. I already have some gifts in mind but knowing the gender would really help me decide what to get.

I took a self picture on Wednesday for my surrogate group, here I was this past Wednesday at 17w,4d.

Baby Kicks

The IP's and I had our first appointment with my mid-wife Kathleen today, she reviewed all of the pregnancy basics with us as well as showed us the birthing room and bathtub where I will be giving birth. The birth-center actually closes during a birth so there will be plenty of room for the IP's family and friends to come, cheer us on and wait until the baby is born. It was a great informative appointment. Baby measured right on track at 15w and the heartbeat was strong in the 160 range.

I am so grateful and happy we made it this far and am so excited that we are now in the care of such a wonderful mid-wife. I also feel very fortunate to have such a supportive positive team, I just adore S and E. I can not wait for the day that I get to put their baby in their arms and make their dreams of being parents come true.

I will go back in 2 weeks for some blood-work and then our next real appointment is early April with the big gender reveal ultrasound mid-April. I have said from the day I first felt pregnant early December that this baby is a girl ...and I hope I am right because I LOVE shopping for girls.

I finally found some good low-waist maternity jeans with the elastic insets on the sides, I am not a fan of the full-panel options and thanks to the Jessica Simpson and Heidi Klum lines at Motherhood I can feel a little more like myself in regular jeans. 

I felt the baby kick last week on February 28th during my 14th week, I was so excited to share the news with E (IM) who then got to share it with S (IF). I am now 15 weeks,2 days pregnant and here is a self-picture from today. 

   

Support and Positive Praise

Pregnancy is going great, I am now 13w,4 days pregnant with this sweet surro baby. I purchased a doppler from a surro friend so I can hear the baby's heartbeat at home; I recorded it and shared it with the IP's. I had a really nice lunch with E, the IM this past Saturday. It is always so nice to catch-up outside of Dr. visits. This week I am working on scheduling the Maternity21 test and then we will have our first appointment with my mid-wife in a couple of weeks. 

Our three kids are now very comfortable and supportive with the surrogacy, they always refer to the baby as S & E's so that's been really great. I think it helps that my kids have met the IP's so they really have an understanding on where this baby is going after it comes out of my belly. My husband of course has been really wonderful since day 1 of the journey, he has taken over some of my usual 'jobs' in the house so I can take it easy and get some much needed rest in the evenings. 

It has been very entertaining to explain to people that this baby is not my own, even more funny when I am with my husband and we say it isn't his. Oh the look of shock and confusion is priceless but of course if they don't run we do explain things and so far I have had nothing but positive praise. 

I started taking weekly belly pictures for a surrogate group I am a part of and here is my self-picture from today. 

Holding Surro Baby in my 'Nest'

Last Sunday, January 27th was a really exciting milestone, it was the last day of my meds. I can't believe I had 63 Progesterone shots and that isn't even counting the Lurpon shots I did early-on. My husband and IM cheered me on leading-up to the final 'shot' day. I certainly don't miss having those done to me each night and I know my husband is relieved he doesn't have to administer them every night. The best part of it is that a few days after I stopped taking meds it was like the fog had been lifted, I had been so tired since I became pregnant early December but I think part of my problem was all of the meds I was taking. I feel so much better now.

We had our final clinic appointment this past Friday, February 1st. Dr. K performed this ultrasound and saw baby kicking its legs around with a perfect heartbeat of 174. He loaded the IP's up with plenty of pictures and then we all went to lunch to celebrate the exciting milestone.
10w, 6 days

                                     

At lunch, the IP's presented me with one of the most thoughtful and meaningful gifts I have ever received. It is a sweet round bird nest with 4 beads on the inside of it. Three of those beads represent my babies and one of them the IP's baby whom I am so honored to be carrying. 

Our oldest daughter, age 8 noticed the necklace the second day I wore it and I heard fate telling me loud and clear that it was the perfect time to tell her about the surrogacy. She of course had some questions. She asked,"so when did you put their baby in?" I replied, "early December" and then asked, "then what did you do?" I said, "I took a few days to rest." and so she asked, "well why did you wait so long to tell me?" which I simply explained sometimes early-on in pregnancy a baby doesn't continue to develop so usually people wait until late in what they term the first trimester to share the baby news. She was really happy with the news and excited for the IP's. Our middle son, age 5 said, "that's cool" and we haven't really talked about it much with our youngest daughter, age 3.

We even hung out over at the IP's yesterday for Super Bowl Sunday, it was really wonderful to be included and to meet their family and friends. It was also nice to have our kids get to hang out with them again, the IP's are so awesome with kids :) S & E are really SO amazing, I feel so lucky to have been matched with them and I can not wait to make them parents. We make a really great team. Our first appointment with my mid-wife is in March.